I lay here on my bed staring blankly toward the light my ihome shines on me, like a dear in the headlights, but you know without the scared expression. But as i lay motionless and the only thing moving is coming from the center of my body in my chest. My heart inside is pounding moving in all directions, sending my brain messages of pain. As one might think of it only being emotionally i can actually feel my heart moving with a burning sensation and shortness of breathe. As i close my eyes shut, i can feel the weight of exhaustion my body, my sanity, is ready to let go of. I choose to ignore your signals of negativity and pathetic solutions, it cancels out with your hypocrisy. How pathetic it must be to see everyone dealing with your ideals when you yourself don't follow them. I keep telling my head i can go on and follow and still keep this not so perfect smile going. But me, myself, still a kid, is stubborn and doesn't adapt very well to this change. How the man upstairs should be disgusted for what you've become or always have been today. You still have any excuse to find to blame me and act as if im another form of the devil that influenced you to be a dickhead, as i would put it. Welcome everyone! It's the boy cares about his dick,well being than anything else in the world. Go ahead keep gloating and telling every girl you come across of you want to them to be yours. I sure as hell have my dignity and self respect and i know no one will EVER compare, no matter what words you may speak or try to convince others on.......I will always be Vanessa Marie Ramos.


The one you shouldn't have let go of.